Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Overcoming adversity has been the name of the game for the past five years. When my soul catapulted me onto the path of the hero's journey in 2002 with the knowing I'd write a book about group reincarnation and rock music, I had no idea of the adversity I'd face along the way. Thank heavens I was clueless, because if I'd known what I would have to confront, you would have found me hiding under my bed with my feet peeking out, kind of like when Dorothy's house squashes the Wicked Witch of the East. (That scene freaked me out as a child when her legs curled up and disappeared. Creepy!)
Perhaps the most challenging moment during my journey came in August of 2005. Cheap Trick, the band that was the catalyst for my spiritual awakening, was coming to Colorado to open for Alice Cooper. I'd finished the rough draft of my manuscript a year earlier, and wanted desperately to let the guys in Cheap Trick know about it, because the band members and their music were essential characters woven throughout the book. In the manuscript, I take the brave and bold stance that the band and many fans appear to have experienced a traumatic/psychological wound in another lifetime, and that we were brought together through the law of attraction via their music in this lifetime to heal, individually and collectively. But I never had the courage to let the band know. I was waiting for the write (pun intended) time.
The band added a meet and greet to a show in Loveland, CO, which I had tickets for. The pressure was on, because I couldn't possibly meet these guys and shake their hands and feel any sense of integrity if I didn't let them know about the book in advance. What was I supposed to say, "Hi guys, nice to meet you. Guess what? I've written a book about our possible past lives together. Gotta run. Have a nice day." No, I'd have to let them know about the book ahead of time, and decided to send them three sample chapters with an introduction about how and why I wrote the book. That took 25 pages.
The final day came to register for the meet and greet, August 17th, 2005. I had their road manager's e-mail address, and was going to include my long, winding e-mail with my registration. The fear that consumed my mind and body in the weeks leading up to that day are not describable. Absolute terror overwhelmed me, for I knew once the e-mail was sent, I could never turn back. The words I wrote to this rock band that I'd never personally met in this lifetime were so powerful, so incredibly personal and intimate, that my entire being sensed the catalyst this e-mail would be for myself and the band.
On August 17th, my gut was in complete turmoil. I worked on the long e-mail, tweaking, trying to make it perfect, and didn't send it to any of my writer friends for feedback. This was about learning to trust myself. Over and over I read my words, pouring my heart out to these men who didn't even know my name. Over the years, they only saw me standing in a concert among a mass of fans, and I intensely prayed that they'd understand what I was trying to say. Group reincarnation isn't a joke, but a significant phenomenon for our souls. We are drawn together so that great healing can take place. One of the sample chapters illustrated this concept about how seeing them in concert helped trigger a release of old, repressed traumatic feelings from Jr. High, and the subsequent healing of of the memories which were trapped in my body for over 25 years.
It was after 5pm, and my kids were yelling for some dinner. I had to send the e-mail. It was good enough. I ran to my Tarot cards, and asked one last time, "What will be the outcome of sending this e-mail?" And the cards encouraged me to go for it. It's amazing how the "Enter" button is such a small button on the keyboard. One doesn't need much strength to touch it and make it work. But every molecule of courage and strength in my body had to be mustered to hit that send button. My heart yelled, "JUST DO IT!" And finally, at 5:26pm, on August 17th, 2005, my message was sent to the band.
Five years ago, I couldn't have hit the send button, but the challenges I faced during my spiritual journey gave me the confidence to know that sometimes we must run the opposite direction of the masses, and stand alone in our beliefs in order to know ourselves at the depths of our being. Against all odds, we hit the send button, and allow fate to take its course. The impact of sending that e-mail, and the ramifications it has had upon my life, could fill another entire book. And it will. I was right; there was no turning back. But by facing my fears, and listening to my heart, I now trust that adversity is not only my friend, but my greatest teacher.
Now, it is my turn to tag some other bloggers! If you want to participate in this tag, read more at Secrets of Dealing with Adversity.
Julie Watson Smith - Inspired Imaginations
Kevin Doherty - Having Health Now
Lana - Get Rejuvenation
Sarah King Feldman - Food Beautiful
Pam Moore - Madame Pamita
Danae Shanti - Prosperity Source
Erin Gonzales - Stampin' Up
Kelly Paull - Slumber Parties
Kathy Mahoney - Cracked at Birth
Nancy Cleary - Wyatt-Mackenzie Publishing
Marisa Haedike - Creative Thursday
Sunday, May 13, 2007
28 years ago, the rock music of Cheap Trick intertwined with my soul, and believe it or not, recently helped heal my emotional childhood wounds.
As a 6-foot-tall, awkward, female adolescent with 2-inch-high self-esteem, Trick’s teenage anthem Surrender reflected the internal angst we all face about giving our power away. But it was the intoxicating bass riffs of songs like Ballad of T.V. Violence that instilled a sense of fearlessness in my self-deprecating pubescent mind. The intense vibrations of the drum and bass guitar actually calcified my spine, and generated the strength to face any challenge.
When mom launched a torpedo that dad was dying of pancreatic cancer, Cheap Trick’s sonic force field helped shield my heart as I helplessly watched my father wither away. He never discussed his illness or impending death, nor did I ever possess enough courage to look into his pain-filled eyes and utter, “I love you, and will miss you daddy.” He died without either of us saying good-bye, and for nearly three decades, I remained totally unaware how our lack of communication left my psyche hanging, begging for completion.
Over the years, a compulsion to see Cheap Trick in concert grew more acute. However, whenever any band member made eye contact from the stage, strange feelings shot out of me like a howitzer canon and I’d instantly avert my gaze. Though numerous fans have met the band, a bizarre fear they’d never want to meet or talk to me kept rock girl at a distance, so asking for an autograph was unthinkable.
Last year, the band themselves illuminated the source of these atypical feelings. They released a single entitled “Perfect Stranger,” and surges of anxiety and guilt swelled whenever I heard the song. For months I wondered, “Why does this tune impact me so profoundly?” The answer came in an intuitive flash: Dad and I were “perfect strangers.” The lyrics mirrored aspects of our relationship, and like a humongous backhoe, dug up painful feelings locked within my subconscious mind surrounding dad’s death.
Finally, my uncomfortable feelings around Cheap Trick made perfect sense. “Perfect Stranger” let me see how I transferred unresolved psychological issues with dad onto the band. I couldn’t look him in the eye and share my feelings, nor could I look the band in the eye or request an autograph because in the recesses of my neo-cortex, they symbolically represented my emotionally distant dad.
It was time for my psyche to become whole again. With the help of a good therapist, I made amends with the soul of my father, and told him all the things I wanted to say, but never did. Cheap Trick’s music shielded my heart when it most needed protection, and years later, helped bring my teenage trauma to light. Who’d ever think a fan could gain a sense of resolution, forgiveness and healing from a rock band and their music? Strange but true. I’m a believer. How ‘bout you?
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Droplets of moisture form as rain clouds in the sky. But, did those droplets originally start their journey on earth, on the ground? Who knows, because the cycle of water evaporating is continuous. What goes up, must come down, and what goes down and doesn't get absorbed, must go up again.
Is the cycle of evaporation a metaphor for the resurrection? When we die, do our souls return to that wonderful place in the sky many people call heaven or some other non-physical dimension, only to return to earth when we are ready to incarnate into a physical body again?
The snowflakes offered another perspective. Water can exist as three states of matter: Liquid, solid and gas. When water is heated, it becomes a gas: steam. When cooled, it transforms into ice or snow. As I looked closely at the falling flakes, several landed on my hand. Each had six points, but all were unique and exquisite.
Many people claim humans are simply physical, and the belief that we are spiritual beings is nonsense or sheer fantasy. But aren't people like snowflakes in that each of us is unique? We all share similar physical features, but like the six sided snowflake, no two people look exactly alike. What if humans are on a journey similar to the evaporating water, and like H20 which exists as three states of matter, we do too?
When the conditions are right, as the water falls from the sky, a metamorphosis occurs and a snowflake forms. When a soul incarnates into a body, does the physical body become a reflection of the soul's experience and intentions for the upcoming lifetime? Could what was purely energy, now undergo a metamorphosis and change into a physical body?
Dr. Walter Semkiv, author of Return of the Revolutionaries, postulates that a person's physical features remain consistent from lifetime to lifetime. I think the features reflect the soul's evolution, since according to the art of face reading (physiognomy), which dates back about 2500 years, the shape and placement of your nose, eyes, ears, mouth, etc. tell the world who you are, and how you think. The physical reflects the soul and personality of the individual.
If reincarnation is valid, then the resurrection of Christ symbolizes that we do not die, our consciousness only changes form. Like the snowflake, it can take on a new appearance, but at its essence, always remains the same.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
But for those of us who've been around The Law of Attraction block, exploring the deeper implications of this principle is where the real power in using it lies. The fundamental creed of the Law of Attraction is: Things of a similar vibration, or anything liken unto itself, are drawn together. It's the "Birds of a Feather" concept. People with similar interests often hang out with one another, or dwell in similar locations in cyberspace. Ergo, like attracts like.
Here's some pointers I've discovered about the Law of Attraction that might help sort out some of the confusion as to how to implement this little puppy:
1) Remember to ask for the highest good. When setting an intention, ask for the highest good for all concerned to be part of the outcome. This helps shift your focus from "me me me," to what's best for everyone. It also allows you to let go of controlling how things happen, and gives the Universe wiggle room to orchestrate events so your desires can manifest.
2) Focus on understanding why things happen. Over and over again, I witnessed how incredibly powerful the Law of Attraction could be when I asked to receive answers or insights about the nature of reality and the human condition, not just physical stuff I desired to have. All kinds of amazing things happened when I focused on helping not only myself, but others. It seems the Universe really likes it when we do this. I know I feel better too.
3) Get real with your subconscious beliefs. Before you focus on the job, the money, the partner or whatever else you'd like to attract, first get to the heart of what might be in the way of vibrationally letting these things come into your life. I've found it absolutely essential to do my inner work, to really get to understand where I've been blind to my fears and motivations. The Law of Attraction can't work if you've got a subconscious belief that people who have money are bad, or if you are unaware that a deep unconscious fear of abandonment has impacted all of your previous relationships. The subconscious works in conjunction with the next subject: healing.
4) Focus on healing. Really. This is probably the most important factor in working consciously with the Law of Attraction. If you focus on healing your past traumas, even if you aren't aware that you've got any, the Universe will allow them to start to show up in your life so that you can heal. If you heal, then your vibration, or signal, is clean and clear towards what you want. The Universe acts like a big radio receiver, and if you are saying you want something, but have a deeper belief that you can't have it, you can't draw that experience or situation to you because your vibration is sending out mixed signals. Therefore, focus on healing yourself, and watch your life unfold in spectacular ways.
5) Watch for synchronous events. The Celestine Prophecy, by James Redfield, reiterates the importance of synchronicity in the Third Insight-..."Moreover, we humans can project our energy by focusing our attention in the desired direction ("where attention goes, energy flows"), influencing other energy systems and increasing the pace of coincidences in our lives."  Synchronicity makes it easy for anyone to know that they are receiving an important message from the Universe. When you set an intention, and synchronicities start to unfold, the Law of Attraction is giving you a high five that your intentions are being received loud and clear. Now, you need to acknowledge and appreciate the synchronicity for showing up, and not brush it off as "luck" or meaningless. By paying attention and exploring what the synchronicity means, more will start to appear. You're in the zone, and it's really fun!
There are other suggestions I will cover in my blog another time, but these are my top five picks for working more effectively with the Law of Attraction. Give me your feedback if you feel so inclined, and enjoy the journey!
 Celestine Prophecy- pg xvi
Sunday, March 25, 2007
A few days later, I posted an inspirational account of the concerts on the band's boards, and within a day it got pulled. There was no mention of "my project" or anything like that. I asked fans if they found the article inspirational, and comments like "weeping openly" told me my writing can be powerful. It's times like these that I have to believe in myself, and pull every molecule of trust up from the depths of my being. I have to trust that my soul told me I'd write a book that would have a major impact on the people of my generation for a good reason, and know that each obstacle provides an opportunity for me to live like the inscription on the Sanskrit necklace fellow fan Sundante gave me for my 40th birthday. It means "FEARLESSNESS."
Are our lives designed so that the more we move through our fears, doors within us that have been shut for years, perhaps since childhood, begin to open? My journey with the band has opened the doors to self-knowing, understanding, and compassion. I'm learning to view life experiences, especially the painful ones, from a different vantage point, for each one is a teacher. It's up to me to decide whether or not to keep the door open and allow its gifts to come my way. I have to be fearless and know that things are not always as they appear. When I embrace my fears, a transformation occurs not only in myself, but those around me, and my world. I hope I'm helping to make the world a better place, and thank the band for allowing me to experience another level of fearlessness.
For five days, I grieved the loss of my writings. Someday I'd get back to all those thoughts and ideas and re-examine, flush out, and use for magazine articles or another book. Now, they day looked like it would never come. But...every cloud has a silver lining, right? So what's the positive? What's the benefit of possibly losing four years of correspondences with friend and fan Sundante, or the photos of my daughter when she lost her first tooth, or all those incredible insights I had to delete from the current book, and hoped to discuss in my next manuscript? How can this be a good thing?
Rather like feng-shui, when we clear out the clutter, the stuff from our past, we make room for something new in our lives. Perhaps this is a sign from the Universe that new and improved ideas are forthcoming. The correspondences from the past are just that...the past. Like ghosts that haunt, ideas stem from our imagination. And that, I've got plenty of. So, no worries about lack of material. It seems to come in a never ending stream, and all I have to do is dip my oar in to access the eternal flow of life's insights, mysteries and Aha's!
After mourning for the ideas that would never be, I surrendered and let go of the past. And the phone rang. My data was retrieved by placing the hard drive in a non-bootable dirve, and was now safe and secure. But elation didn't fill my being, for I'd become comfortable with starting over again. Like a person who loses everything in a flood or fire, we pick up the pieces and move on. And moving on is what I need to do, whether or not my data still existed.
So, I'm moving on with my book...with writing magazine and newspaper articles, and with a new attitude. When life gives you lemons, don't just make lemonade, make lemon drop cookies, lemon meringue pie, lemon sponge cake and lemon chicken. Before you know it, you'll have an entire meal to savor. And so it goes.